This is what I want to know... when you go into the restroom, why is it that there could be 100 stalls next to you, but that "someone" (you know who you are) comes in and has to sit their fat smelly ass right next to you? WHY? There should be a published book about bathroom etiquette. SERIOUSLY. It annoys me to no end. So if you're reading this, don't sit your ass down next to me in the restroom.
Just had to get that off my chest.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Bathroom Blunders
So I have had some unpleasant incidents over the years and I would really like to share them. Although, most of my friends who will dare to read this some day will know them. But I thought I’d get them down on paper.
My first “run in” with the # 2 was about 8 years ago when I was on vacation with some friends. So as we’re on the way home from Hilton Head, as you all know is A LONG drive, especially for someone who has to go # 2 as frequently as some go # 1, I demanded that we pull into this so called restaurant/gas station to fill up and unload if you know what I mean... As skanky as this place was, when I came out of the bathroom clear in the back of the eatery I noticed a few of the hillbilly patrons starting at what I’m going to call “disbelief” in hindsight…
As I got into the car, put my seat belt on , and got situated about a mile down the road I happened to look down at my leg, of which I was wearing shorts, and notice a large smudge of # 2 on my thigh. To which the car almost crashed from laughter and “disbelief“. Now, it is at this point I will insert the question for you after I know you are all thoroughly grossed out. How in the effing hell, Leslie, did you get shit on your leg? To which I will answer that for you, I have no effing idea.
Maybe the next story will help… but I have to say first, that there are so many to even write that I will just give you a little taste into what my husband has to put up with.
It was winter when I was court reporting for the hearing impaired students at OSU and so wearing a winter coat, being dressed up, heals, lecture halls of about 400 students, and carrying 20lbs of luggage often had it’s trying moments. Now, I know with my “issues” of going # 2 that I CANNOT under any circumstances drink coffee and then go somewhere without having to “GO”. On this day, I was running late to get to the lecture, so I chugged my coffee and slipped my beautiful Banana Republic red wool coat on and headed out the door. To which I parked my car and had to walk 5,000 miles to get to the hall and along the way I felt my tummy saying, “You’re a complete idiot. You should’ve went before you left the house. Muahhhh”
So I ran into the hall, straight to the bathroom - well, you couldn’t even call it a bathroom because the stalls were separated by shower curtains. So knowing that this was going to be sorta like a volcanic eruption that was brewing of years, I decided that with a lot of toilet paper I would muffle the volcano so that the person next to me would not be grossed out. Needless to say, I muffled the noise all right, and was on my way to the lecture. As I get set up next to the student (mind you I’m surrounded by 399 other people) I happen to look down at the sleeve on my coat to which there was a surprise… THE VOLCANIC ERUPTION RIGHT THERE ON MY EFFING SLEEVE. And I shit you not, the student says to me so loudly, because he can’t hear himself talking… “Ewwww. Can you smell that?” At that moment in time I thought I was going to die.
I will leave you with that. Thank you # 2 and good night.
My first “run in” with the # 2 was about 8 years ago when I was on vacation with some friends. So as we’re on the way home from Hilton Head, as you all know is A LONG drive, especially for someone who has to go # 2 as frequently as some go # 1, I demanded that we pull into this so called restaurant/gas station to fill up and unload if you know what I mean... As skanky as this place was, when I came out of the bathroom clear in the back of the eatery I noticed a few of the hillbilly patrons starting at what I’m going to call “disbelief” in hindsight…
As I got into the car, put my seat belt on , and got situated about a mile down the road I happened to look down at my leg, of which I was wearing shorts, and notice a large smudge of # 2 on my thigh. To which the car almost crashed from laughter and “disbelief“. Now, it is at this point I will insert the question for you after I know you are all thoroughly grossed out. How in the effing hell, Leslie, did you get shit on your leg? To which I will answer that for you, I have no effing idea.
Maybe the next story will help… but I have to say first, that there are so many to even write that I will just give you a little taste into what my husband has to put up with.
It was winter when I was court reporting for the hearing impaired students at OSU and so wearing a winter coat, being dressed up, heals, lecture halls of about 400 students, and carrying 20lbs of luggage often had it’s trying moments. Now, I know with my “issues” of going # 2 that I CANNOT under any circumstances drink coffee and then go somewhere without having to “GO”. On this day, I was running late to get to the lecture, so I chugged my coffee and slipped my beautiful Banana Republic red wool coat on and headed out the door. To which I parked my car and had to walk 5,000 miles to get to the hall and along the way I felt my tummy saying, “You’re a complete idiot. You should’ve went before you left the house. Muahhhh”
So I ran into the hall, straight to the bathroom - well, you couldn’t even call it a bathroom because the stalls were separated by shower curtains. So knowing that this was going to be sorta like a volcanic eruption that was brewing of years, I decided that with a lot of toilet paper I would muffle the volcano so that the person next to me would not be grossed out. Needless to say, I muffled the noise all right, and was on my way to the lecture. As I get set up next to the student (mind you I’m surrounded by 399 other people) I happen to look down at the sleeve on my coat to which there was a surprise… THE VOLCANIC ERUPTION RIGHT THERE ON MY EFFING SLEEVE. And I shit you not, the student says to me so loudly, because he can’t hear himself talking… “Ewwww. Can you smell that?” At that moment in time I thought I was going to die.
I will leave you with that. Thank you # 2 and good night.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Inauguration
So today I was at work when The 44th President of the United States was inaugurated. And I had the pleasure of enjoying it with a wonderful co-worker, Jason. We went to the cafe where hundreds of people were sitting at the tables enjoying the big screens. It gave me chills as I was about to watch one of the most profound moments in our history and our generation. I can't help but to say we all laughed a little when The President stumbled a little when taking the oath (possibly because it was like -25 outside), but as I stood there and was mesmerized by President Obama's magnificent speech I couldn't help but look around my colleagues and get the chills. Every single one of us in that room were either smiling or crying for joy. It is a day that I will never ever forget. Just as our parents have never forgotten the day JFK and Dr. Martin Luther King were killed. We will forever be remembered where we were when 9-11 happened. These are days in our history that we can only move forward from. It just makes me think someday what our children will see...
As Obama says at the end of every important speech,
"God bless you. And God bless the United States of America".
As Obama says at the end of every important speech,
"God bless you. And God bless the United States of America".
Monday, January 12, 2009
A LooK Back in 2008
Well, 2008 brought many a good times for me, Zach and our families, and if I have to add the not so good, I'll do that too, but only in moderation.
We of course rang in the New Year with Steph and Ryan in Cincy!!! Need I go into the details... NO!
January, we started off the year with a fantastic trip to NYC to visit Teresa, Grant and at that time the tadpole in her belly! Lots to go into but just know there were many libations drank and lots of great food eaten!!
And, of course, there's nothing like a great birthday celebration with friends from work and a surprise visit from the hubs at The Indian Oven downtown(highly recommend it). But I did lose a good friend to the Golden Gate state - BOOOO. Kyle, miss ya buddy;) Zach and I took our yearly trip to Pittsburgh for our birthdays. Great time staying next to PNC Park, hitting the local hangouts, (ie. Pinanni Bros) and shopping at IKEA! Oh, and we started a Euchre league at the Goat in NA, which I'll go alone in saying we got our butts handed to us (thanks trump). [like all the little innuendos I threw in there]
In the Spring we started our golf league on Wednesdays, and took in many Clippers games! Love those Thirsty Thursdays;)
Summer, brought us fun times with friends. July 4th we caught a Reds game with ma and dad, we also took in Red, White and Boom with Sara, Adam, BK, and some others... too many of those frosty ones to remember!!
It was also a month of first birthdays. Ms. Emily Garman and Ms. Caroline Winship!!
Z, my mom, dad and I also took in a Yankee's game in July. Which was a DREAM come true. That's a story in itself!! Thanks Dad and Mom!!!
August, took us to Emerald Isle to see the Garman's. Great times as usual. Nothing better than "feet in sand, cold one on hand!!" Yup that was my slogan all week;) Oh, and how could I forget Mr. Griffin Bowman being born.
September, we celebrated our 2nd Anniversary, which we spent at Rosendale's downtown(exquisite I might add!) We also took in a Cubs v. Reds game thanks to Sara and Adam for the tickets. Enjoyed the game, some Old Styles and Nada's(another great restaurant in Cincy) oh and another trip to IKEA in Cincy this time. Only we took my SUV and bought WAY too much stuff and I had to ride with my face implanted in the windshield for the entire ride home. Won't forget that one;) [note to self: never go to IKEA w/o a truck]
October started out as an exciting month with my promotion at work, but quickly ended sadly when my friend and co-worker was let go. It'll never be the same back those cubbie;( But I also took on a stretch assignment in DC5 as a Beat Cop. NO, not like the Mall Cop!
November, we put our house on the market and went in contract on a new house!
December, we took a little vaca to Chicago, and what fun we had!!! Our house
was still on the market... We also were so busy with the hustle and bustle of Christmas, but it brought friends back together again which we couldn't have been more grateful for! It was also a month for Sara and I's annual party, only this year it was the ugliest x-mas sweater theme (and there were some duzzies)
Whelp, that was pretty much 2008 in a nut shell. 2009 should bring us some interesting topics to say the least!! Good buy 2008. Hello 2009!
We of course rang in the New Year with Steph and Ryan in Cincy!!! Need I go into the details... NO!
January, we started off the year with a fantastic trip to NYC to visit Teresa, Grant and at that time the tadpole in her belly! Lots to go into but just know there were many libations drank and lots of great food eaten!!
And, of course, there's nothing like a great birthday celebration with friends from work and a surprise visit from the hubs at The Indian Oven downtown(highly recommend it). But I did lose a good friend to the Golden Gate state - BOOOO. Kyle, miss ya buddy;) Zach and I took our yearly trip to Pittsburgh for our birthdays. Great time staying next to PNC Park, hitting the local hangouts, (ie. Pinanni Bros) and shopping at IKEA! Oh, and we started a Euchre league at the Goat in NA, which I'll go alone in saying we got our butts handed to us (thanks trump). [like all the little innuendos I threw in there]
In the Spring we started our golf league on Wednesdays, and took in many Clippers games! Love those Thirsty Thursdays;)
Summer, brought us fun times with friends. July 4th we caught a Reds game with ma and dad, we also took in Red, White and Boom with Sara, Adam, BK, and some others... too many of those frosty ones to remember!!
It was also a month of first birthdays. Ms. Emily Garman and Ms. Caroline Winship!!
Z, my mom, dad and I also took in a Yankee's game in July. Which was a DREAM come true. That's a story in itself!! Thanks Dad and Mom!!!
August, took us to Emerald Isle to see the Garman's. Great times as usual. Nothing better than "feet in sand, cold one on hand!!" Yup that was my slogan all week;) Oh, and how could I forget Mr. Griffin Bowman being born.
September, we celebrated our 2nd Anniversary, which we spent at Rosendale's downtown(exquisite I might add!) We also took in a Cubs v. Reds game thanks to Sara and Adam for the tickets. Enjoyed the game, some Old Styles and Nada's(another great restaurant in Cincy) oh and another trip to IKEA in Cincy this time. Only we took my SUV and bought WAY too much stuff and I had to ride with my face implanted in the windshield for the entire ride home. Won't forget that one;) [note to self: never go to IKEA w/o a truck]
October started out as an exciting month with my promotion at work, but quickly ended sadly when my friend and co-worker was let go. It'll never be the same back those cubbie;( But I also took on a stretch assignment in DC5 as a Beat Cop. NO, not like the Mall Cop!
November, we put our house on the market and went in contract on a new house!
December, we took a little vaca to Chicago, and what fun we had!!! Our house
was still on the market... We also were so busy with the hustle and bustle of Christmas, but it brought friends back together again which we couldn't have been more grateful for! It was also a month for Sara and I's annual party, only this year it was the ugliest x-mas sweater theme (and there were some duzzies)
Whelp, that was pretty much 2008 in a nut shell. 2009 should bring us some interesting topics to say the least!! Good buy 2008. Hello 2009!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Average Loser
I'm sure you've all seen or heard about it, but the show Biggest Loser on Tuesday nights is like the bestest show ever! It makes me cry every single time I watch that damn show. I mean.. it's sorta worse than watching the Discovery channel. Any who..
But what makes me so mad about this whole lose-weight-get-fit-have-emotional epiphanies-about-why-you-got-that-way-in-the-first-place is: Why in the world don't they have a show for the medium-size average-loser people who need to lose pounds too? I mean...medium size people have issues too; RIGHT? So why can't we have a show where all we do is workout with Bob and Jilian all day and have challenges to win hundreds and thousands of dollars just like the overweight peeps...
Whatever. I'm over it. I'll just head back to the gym and hop on the treadmill to watch the show and get inspiration that way. Oh, and did I mention, continue to cry every time I watch the damn thing! whatevvvv
But what makes me so mad about this whole lose-weight-get-fit-have-emotional epiphanies-about-why-you-got-that-way-in-the-first-place is: Why in the world don't they have a show for the medium-size average-loser people who need to lose pounds too? I mean...medium size people have issues too; RIGHT? So why can't we have a show where all we do is workout with Bob and Jilian all day and have challenges to win hundreds and thousands of dollars just like the overweight peeps...
Whatever. I'm over it. I'll just head back to the gym and hop on the treadmill to watch the show and get inspiration that way. Oh, and did I mention, continue to cry every time I watch the damn thing! whatevvvv
Life's little accomplishments "to do list"
Well, first on the list of things:
1) Appreciate every thing I have and I MEAN every thing!!
2) Get fit. (yeah, I just lol'd myself!) but, no, REALLY
3) Get preggers!
4) Have a healthy baby or two...whatever The Man has in store for us
5) Sell this damn house
6) Move into our dream home
7) Visit all 50 states
8) Run a half marathon
9) See the Oprah show
10) Go to Bora Bora
11) Hit our 50th wedding anniversary and still be happily married!
12) Have grandchildren
13) Start to love to read and not just smutt
14) Maybe own that BMW I've always wanted
15) Retire in 35 years
16) Take a European vacation
17) See as many MLB ballparks as possible
18) Go to a NFL game - preferably the Steelers!
19) Go to the new Yankee Stadium
20) Learn to play tennis and be fairly good at it
21) Shoot par on 9 holes
22) Take ballroom dancing
23) Take a cruise to Alaska
24) Go to the beach with both our families
25) Own my own business - B&B Co.!!
~ummm to be continued~
1) Appreciate every thing I have and I MEAN every thing!!
2) Get fit. (yeah, I just lol'd myself!) but, no, REALLY
3) Get preggers!
4) Have a healthy baby or two...whatever The Man has in store for us
5) Sell this damn house
6) Move into our dream home
7) Visit all 50 states
8) Run a half marathon
9) See the Oprah show
10) Go to Bora Bora
11) Hit our 50th wedding anniversary and still be happily married!
12) Have grandchildren
13) Start to love to read and not just smutt
14) Maybe own that BMW I've always wanted
15) Retire in 35 years
16) Take a European vacation
17) See as many MLB ballparks as possible
18) Go to a NFL game - preferably the Steelers!
19) Go to the new Yankee Stadium
20) Learn to play tennis and be fairly good at it
21) Shoot par on 9 holes
22) Take ballroom dancing
23) Take a cruise to Alaska
24) Go to the beach with both our families
25) Own my own business - B&B Co.!!
~ummm to be continued~
HSG... Holy Shit that hurt!
So... yup there I go again.
Dr. Sabol said I needed to have an HSG test since we've been TTC now for 15 months for a bundle of joy. The disappointing months, the peeing on sticks, the "baby dancing" every other day or only on certain days, but not other days... get what I'm saying? It wasn't workin.
So the HSG test was suggested on a Tuesday and on Wednesday I was scheduled for this horrific, sorta-like-child-labor procedure. I was not informed by the doctor's office about this procedure nor was I informed to take any meds before going in.
So what do I do...go straight to every TTC thread I can find and reading up on the test. EVERY thing I read was how horrible it is and to have your doctor prescribe some serious painkillers before going under the x-ray machine or shall I say the evil dye shot into the uterus. (LORD help any one that has to have that test.)
But Zachy went with me, held my hand, rubbed my head and encouraged me through the whole thing. Then... right after that was over the doc came up to my head to tell me that my tubes and uterus are PERFECT!!! YAY. Zach calls me his wide open woman now!! sick but funny;)
So now it's Z's turn to make a deposit. But in the mean time send baby dust our way PUH - LEASE!
Dr. Sabol said I needed to have an HSG test since we've been TTC now for 15 months for a bundle of joy. The disappointing months, the peeing on sticks, the "baby dancing" every other day or only on certain days, but not other days... get what I'm saying? It wasn't workin.
So the HSG test was suggested on a Tuesday and on Wednesday I was scheduled for this horrific, sorta-like-child-labor procedure. I was not informed by the doctor's office about this procedure nor was I informed to take any meds before going in.
So what do I do...go straight to every TTC thread I can find and reading up on the test. EVERY thing I read was how horrible it is and to have your doctor prescribe some serious painkillers before going under the x-ray machine or shall I say the evil dye shot into the uterus. (LORD help any one that has to have that test.)
But Zachy went with me, held my hand, rubbed my head and encouraged me through the whole thing. Then... right after that was over the doc came up to my head to tell me that my tubes and uterus are PERFECT!!! YAY. Zach calls me his wide open woman now!! sick but funny;)
So now it's Z's turn to make a deposit. But in the mean time send baby dust our way PUH - LEASE!
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